Am I Becoming a Dog Person?
Celebrating Gotcha Day
We recently celebrated our dog Kane’s Gotcha Day. One year ago, we officially signed all the papers for him to become our dog and for us to become his humans. I didn’t grow up with dogs in the house but Matt had a dog most of his years growing up. We had talked off and on about the possibility of getting a dog but at the end of last year while feeling buried in a mountain of grief, we decided it was time.
My husband is more of a spontaneous human. Anytime I would have come home and said I was ready to get a dog, he would have been ready. I am a planning girlie. I needed to research and peruse all of the dog themed threads on Reddit. I surmised from this research that I wanted a small dog, an older dog, and one we could find at a shelter.
Matt and I went to the county shelters first and left feeling overwhelmed and unsure and almost in tears wondering if we could fit all of those dogs in our house OMG! Then we arrived at the Atlanta Humane Society and went to the small dog area which was also the puppy area and there was Kane, an elder dog statesman of ten years old, stuck in a room with a bunch of young pups.
I was hoping for a warm and fuzzy moment, a Hallmark movie dog moment where we would lock eyes with a dog and know instantly this was our dog and we were his humans. It did not happen this way with Kane. The humane society staff allowed us to visit with him in a separate room and he mostly sniffed around, looked at us, and sniffed around some more. We seemed all right enough to him and he seemed all right enough to us so we opted to participate in the foster to adopt program. We fostered Kane for two weeks which gave us time to decide if we liked him as a permanent roommate.
During the two weeks, we learned a few things about Kane. He was already house trained. He did not like to play fetch. He hated his crate. He loved food and treats whenever and however he could get them. He didn’t like most humans and he didn’t like any dogs.
Those first two weeks were also full of frustrations and rookie mistakes. Matt was working with a friend on a project in his office and Kane could not take the idea that his new human was behind a closed door with a stranger he had not vetted. I was trying everything I could to keep Kane calm but nothing worked. After over an hour of his barking, I started to cry. In this moment, it became evident that even though Kane had brought a lot of fun and healthy distraction into our lives, he still couldn’t take away the pain of grief and loss that greeted us at the end of last year.
After Matt was done working, Kane calmed down, climbed into my lap and put his paw on my arm as if to say, “I know you’re frustrated, but ain’t I cute?!” Whenever Matt and I would leave the house, Kane would freak out. When we’d get home, I’d pet Kane and say “I’m sorry you’re scared. But you’re okay now. You’re home. You’re safe.” And then I’d start to cry because I realized the words I was saying to him were also words I needed to say to myself.
When our two weeks of fostering ended, we realized that Kane needed to be rescued but we did too. In a way, we rescued each other. So we signed the papers and made it official. Since then, I’ve done a lot of things I never thought I’d do. We’ve bought Kane enough dog beds that he has a bed in almost every room. He has hoodies, jackets, and a gold chain. When I’m away from Kane for a few hours or a few days, I miss his ornery ass. Whenever I’m out shopping I always check the dog section, for treats, toys, and clothes. I have taken a bunch of photos of Kane sleeping, on a walk, and looking at me like “do you have any treats?!”
To Kane, Matt is his early morning person. His buddy. The one he wakes up when he’s ready to go outside in the morning. The one he bothers during the day when he thinks it’s time to play. I’m his cuddle person because he knows I keep a lot of nice blankets on the couch. I’m The Treat Lady, because I always have a treat for Kane. I’ve cooked him dog friendly versions of red beans and rice, collard greens, and sweet potato pie.
A year later and we still have a roommate who has no job, pays no rent, doesn’t help at all with the bills, and demands treats for his good and bad behavior. AND we also have a roommate who makes us laugh, makes us smile, reminds us to relax and take our time. Even when the grief weighed heavy on us, it was nice to have a dog to walk, to remind us to go outside, to play, to find joy in the little things.
I’m still not sure I’m a dog person, but I’m definitely a Kane person. I’m glad he’s our dog and I’m glad to be one of his humans.
I’m listening to…Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings - It’s a Holiday Soul Party
I’m watching…The Ultimatum on Netflix! Y’all already know!
Feeling inspired by…the life and work of Nikki Giovanni (my favorite book of hers is Love Poems), may her legacy inspire us all.
Shoutout to…hot cocoa with whip cream!
Love your post Amena and congrats on your journey toward becoming a dog person :-) I'm loving the idea of getting a gold chain for our pup Zoom and like Kane - he doesn't like other dogs either.
Merry Christmas to the three of you!